Resentful vs Grateful

I read a fellow bloggers post about how she does everything for the kids and house, etc. She even made a list of everything she does versus what her husband does. I’ve done that. Recently, in fact. 

But, what do you do if you’ve brought some of it on yourself?

I am a person that does things in certain ways. Like loading the dishwasher, or how laundry is done, how dinner is made, how a diaper is changed, how a bath is given… Whatever it might be, I’ve made it difficult for someone (like my spouse) to help me. I would ask for help, then watch in misery at how the task was being executed. And, then I’d say something like “I’ll just do it” or “never mind, I can do it”. So, most often, I would just do everything on my own; my way. Then, guess what would rear it’s ugly head… resentment. 

[Resentment:  the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult. Dictionary.com]

It’s that raging, ball of anger in the pit of my stomach. It keeps turning and turning like a tornado, grasping at everything in its path and sucking it back up into its core where it boils and burns and spits fire at everything and everyone around it. My aura radiates this negativity all around me. It’s quite ugly, wouldn’t you say?

I would take a deep, hard look at this and say to myself, “I should be grateful”. My husband works hard, so that I can stay at home and raise our children. I have a beautiful home. I have food to feed my family. 

[Grateful:  warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful. Dictionary.com.]

I have gotten better about asking for help, and then stepping away. I know that most people do things differently than I do. And, I realize that that’s ok! I’m like a kid that you have to keep reminding over and over again what you need them to do. Maybe reciting mantras all day and night would help.

Maybe I just need to hear, “I am grateful to you for all you do”. 

Life’s Busyness and Surviving Spring Break

I cannot believe it’s been a week since I’ve posted. Maybe it’s because of sick kids (again), or soccer practices starting again, or actually hanging out with other people, or a birthday party to attend. Life has been busy this past week and a half. And, now… we’ve been on spring break! 

Ha, I had plans for our spring break. Nothing fancy like some I’ve seen on Facebook… But, I wanted to get the kids out of the house and have fun. Children’s Museum, the zoo, parks, skating maybe… Ugh. 

The first day, the kids had awesome fun just being outside☺️ My 18 month old actually went out in the grass! (He would usually just stick to the patio haha, but now he’s venturing out with his brothers & sister!) And… I met a neighbor! We’ve lived here almost a year, but I pretty much just talk to the older neighbors on each side of us. The new neighbor I met has 3 boys, and they love playing with my boys (and my daughter)! I don’t get out much, so it’s nice to meet someone (that also has kids) and have friends for my kiddos to play with.

Second day, I ended up having my grandson longer than expected, therefore had to stick to home most of the day. The kids went to their nana’s house though, and had lots of fun at the park, Dairy Queen, and dyeing Easter eggs. Thank goodness. And, I also had the opportunity to take a bath😌 

Today was our third day. Weather isn’t being very nice, windy and rainy, so I didn’t let kids go outside much. And, I didn’t want to get them out in it, especially since a few already have respiratory symptoms. But, I ended the day with pancake batter all over me, paint all over me, and I still have a messy kitchen. I made chocolate chip pancakes for dinner, cookies after lunch, and in between things I helped my 6 year old paint his birdhouse FINALLY! (He got it for Christmas) Hopefully, we can hang it in our tree by this weekend. It IS spring, isn’t it?

I suppose spring break hasn’t been a total loss. We still have some left! Either I’ll do more semi-fantastic things with them, or go completely insane from their constant bickering. Hahahaha. Ha. 

Photo credit: http://www.memecenter.com

Just another one of those days

(This happened yesterday)

First thing in the morning, my grandson got poo all over himself and the kitchen floor. Yay me! I can see that it’d been wiped up… but, probably not with antibacterial spray due to the fact that I could see residue of something on the floor. And, my son told me he pooped on the floor ha. So, I hurriedly sprayed the area down and wiped it up before my son crawled all over it. Yuck.

My daughter was bathing the grandson (because he was covered in poo), and proceeded to take all the hot water. So, my son and husband had nice cold showers before work/school. (I think I might add that the same grandson had to have another bath in the evening…therefore taking all the hot water again, when I needed to bathe 4 children!)

Then, I notice my usually talkative, vibrant daughter (the 3 yr old) is not looking so vibrant. She’s just lifeless. I feel her head and BOOM… fever. I checked it and it was 101.5. I got an ice cream bucket ready for what I thought would be Round 2 of the stomach bug. Ugh.

By the time I checked her temp again, around noon, it was up to 102.7. But, so far, no vomiting! I got her comfy & medicated, and started getting on the chores, especially the kitchen floor!

As far as yoga, let’s just say I half-assed it, but I busted a few moves today. Yep, mountain pose while I made a fresh pot of coffee. Oh, and the childs pose while I prayed to the sickness gods that they would just leave my house. And, boy was I working the cow to cat pose throughout scrubbing the kitchen floor! That pose was heaven during pregnancies…

I had a great rhythm with dinner time, got the kiddos bathed in lukewarm water (see above rant about daughter using all the hot water), and in bed early. I was done. So done, that I couldn’t get up the energy to shower. That’ll go on the to-do list for tomorrow 😒